When I was eight I experienced a physical pain like I would never feel again in life. It was a pain that I cannot even begin to explain in full depth. The pain was more agonizing than my natural labors. This pain was so excruciating that my small, frail, eight year old body couldn’t bare it but for a few short seconds. After the initial shock my body went numb and my mind blanked out allowing me to slip into a peaceful place where I experienced nothing but pure bliss.
When I would awaken from paradise I would find myself completely numb from the waist down and unable to walk, so I crowed. I crowed down the hallway into my bedroom and hid underneath my bed. I spent what seemed like days under there before anyone even realized I was missing. I later figured that it had only been a little over twenty four hours that I had lay motionless under my bed, wetting myself over and over again. While I lay under my bed I tried to comprehend what Mister George had done to me. I didn’t know the right word to label it with but I knew that he had hurt me and that I couldn’t tell my mom or anyone. So I hid. I hid under my bed praying that I was dreaming and when I woke up it would all be over. I kept telling myself to go back to that place of paradise but no matter how hard I tried that day, I couldn’t. The throbbing sensation between my legs and the burning down there when I wet myself kept me from fully concentrating. On top of that I could hear my mother’s voice down stairs laughing and playing cards with all of her friends, including Mister George. I wanted my mother to come up stairs and hold me and wash my tears and pain away, instead she continued to laugh obnoxiously while drinking and playing cards as she always did, not even noticing that I was no where to be found.
I was awakened by my younger brother Eddie. Eddie was three years younger than I was and lived life like a true five year old. “You’re it!” he screamed out when he reached underneath my bed and found me lying motionless. I blinked my eye twice. I squeezed my muscles between my legs to see if the pain had vanished and I had awakened from a bad dream. But it didn’t. It hurt more than ever now and I had to poop. I had been holding in my gas all night afraid that it would be loud and someone would find me or that I would let go of my bowels and stink too bad.
“You’re it Kat!” he demanded. Tears welled up in my eyes from the pain that had awaken in my lower half body.
“What’s wrong Kat?” Eddie probed.
Please God let him go away. I silently prayed.
“Kat?”
Oh God no! Not Debbie. Debbie was one of my older sisters. She was ten whole years older than me.
“She’s in here.” Eddie squealed “Here she is”.
Debbie footsteps got closer and suddenly the pain worsened and the tight feeling that I had been holding my buttocks in abruptly loosened and simultaneously as I released my bowels I escaped back to paradise.
